Wednesday 1st May 2019 - Personal Goals and May's difficulties

Posted 2:10pm

I think people can forget that behind all the effort, focus, hard work and persistence, there is still a human being trying to just have a life. We have an amazing pioneering project, with incredible feedback on our unique, fresh design and delivery, but ultimately we need to know all this effort has been worthwhile.

May wasn't an easy month, personally - and I apologize if this appears self-indulgent or selfish to post this. Actually, even if you do not carry on reading, it is therapeutic for me, but I hope you do. Understanding what drives HMHB to carry on in its bid to be established is important.

I am getting older - 52 now - 53 in August - and I came up with HMHB when I was 42. It has been 10 years in development (off and on). In between there was some work, a second major depression (following one from Jan 2004 to Feb 2006) and life in general. But I want me children to be proud of me, and what we are doing, and not just wondering if "dad's project" is going to start!!!

I have yoyoed up and down in weight - I now understand how I used food as a comfort (and still do occasionally), and there is frustration that I cannot seem to get to my target. I will succeed this year though. February and March were great months - April I put weight back on. I need to get back in track in May!!! I hate how I look in the mirror - but it is my responsibility to make better nutrition choices.

We ask service users "where do you want to be in six month's time?"  It is about emotional/mental health, not physical. So the general consensus is "happier, healthier, fitter, stronger, more energized and looking forward to getting out of bed in the mornings." - Is that not everyone??  It is certainly my goals and targets.

I think April dragged me down a bit. Great successes - Haringey, Hackney contacts, Lottery dreams, etc. But also some incredible frustration - finances (the poorest I have ever been - plus the company finances), time things are taking to happen, meetings I have to beg for.

Ultimately, it is that "i want to want to get out of bed", "i want to believe it will happen", feeling. This is the Growth Mind-set mentality we press. I do believe we will get there. I know we have something good that can make a difference in people's lives. All this effort has to lead somewhere, doesn't it?